FRIEND-ZONED ?!?!
This is quite a tricky topic as it invites a lot of scorn from females who seem to be offended by its mere usage. The internet however seems to swear by its existence as it has been flooded by hundreds of memes.
Friend zone actually is used to describe a situation in which a person's proposal has been rejected and is instead made a friend. This is a phenomenon which has been mainly observed in the third world countries like India. In most of these countries, the dating culture is yet to develop and people openly oppose and reject love marriages.
Naturally, it has always been the prerogative of women to decide whether they are willing to become someone's girlfriend or not. This has however not been utilized properly by women in the third world countries. Women in other countries firmly reject any offer to go out unless they are interested. Women in India are not firm in their rejection and aren't very forthcoming in giving reasons. .
The concept of dating also differs in these countries. In USA or other developed countries dating doesn't involve any kind of proposal or commitment. It refers to a phase in which both persons try to get to know each and they decide whether they are good enough for each other much later. In India however, there is no such phase. Both the consenting people are expected to commit to each other from the word go and this often leads to situations causing a lot of pain to both the people.
Whenever the girl rejects a guy, she tries to ensure that the guy is okay and often tries to make amends by offering her friendship. The guy meanwhile thinks that the girl has not rejected him and thinks that she is shy and that she will accept his proposal in the future. Most of the guys accept the friendship and try to ensure that they remain in the good books of the girl.
The girl meanwhile tries to ensure the guy is close to her and begins to trust him with everything. This situation increases the frustration of the boy who on one hand feels that the girl has fallen for him and on the other hand feels let down by the fact that the girl isn't giving him space despite trusting him.
So, the boy tries to hit on the girl again after some time. This further complicates the situation because the girl isn't interested in the guy. The situation may sound very comical but has the potential to become a very serious issue like sexual assault depending upon the guy's maturity level. A mature guy may take it sportively and even joke about the awkward situation.
However, an angry guy may start doing things which may cause a lot of destruction. This has also lead to a strong clamor that most of the nice guys would any way get friend zoned. Many of the boys have the view that girls will simply use the line “I like you but not in that way” to wriggle out of such a situation. Movies have also played a major role in grinding this level of mediocre behavior in boys who believe that only the “bad ” boys will have a girlfriend. Boys now want to have fifty shades of grey written all over them with the hope that this will win them some brownie points in getting a girlfriend.
But, the reality is quite different as a mature and a well behaved person who is amicable is the one who is more desirable. This however doesn’t mean that boys must try to con girls but it is important to inculcate minimum tolerance and respect for people around us. If a guy doesn’t respect or shows attitude, this will have a girl running toward the hills. It is important for boys also to show restraint and hold their horses while dealing with girls. Girls must be given the independence and space. The alternative is very harsh and may involve broken hearts or things may also take up an ugly shape as written earlier.
We can simply avoid such a situation if the girl strongly rejects the proposal in the starting itself by clearly explaining the reason for this refusal. The girl must simply tell the boy in simple plain terms whether she is interested or not. She must not shy away from refusing and must be well aware of her rights. She must seek immediate help from adults if she senses any kind of danger and must not force the guy in any way to become her friend if she isn't interested.
The boy must not take the girl's friendship for granted and should not think that the girl is interested in pursuing anything other than friendship unless she explicitly states that. It must be noted that in a proposal, there are many feelings and intentions involved.
The true intentions of a person must be understood and we must ensure that nobody is hurt and learn to move on and take things such as defeat and rejection in our stride. We must learn to think in a mature way and must learn to accept other people's opinion even if it doesn't match with our opinion.
The point of this blog entry is not to blame the boy or the girl but just to analyze the situation wherein a person gets friend zoned.
PS- The author in his limited experience has tried to just air his views on a highly debated topic which has taken the youngsters by storm. He clearly wishes to set the record by stating that this blog doesn't blame any particular gender. This blog is mainly based on people's observations and understanding their experiences.
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